Mindless Babble from a Mindful Person
Leave this to the professionals...
Published on August 24, 2004 By Dutch Ambition In Humor
Looking down at the limbs of prime means of transport (aka. my legs), I had noticed a trip to the salon was needed soon for, once again, another 30 mins of leg rippin', knee-slappin' fun! Now, I dread this.... no it is not fun having a conversation where everyother word is interrupted by: Jesus Christ!. You'd think I'd be in church.
Having nothing else better to do yesterday evening I decied not to call the psudeo-sado-masochist of the hair removal field and do it myself. Besides I had a waxing kit.... it sounds like a good idea. WRONG!

Where do I begin?

After heating up the wax I began working my way around the lower leg.
Oh this is simple! Roll the wax on, muslin strip, and.....
Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and the Three Wise Men!
After pulling the strip off, I noticed I got a nice chunk of hair off w/ an additional layer of skin.

Oh no I was not done yet...

After choosing not to use the Hot Wax method anymore... I ran myself up to the drug store, and pick up a cold waxing kit. Now that one worked, and was less hazardous to the skin (meaning not ripping it off). While buying the kit... at the counter the lady smirked and said: Only got half the job done, eh? Not being to thrilled w/ the comment I smiled thinking... after I'm done w/ my legs let me help you with that moustache. Getting into the car I noticed I still had a thick layer of wax I had forgot to yank off. Cringing at the thought of inflicting more pain on myself than I already had... I consulted the azure oil (removes wax).


Never again....
I love you razor.

Comments
on Aug 24, 2004
Oh you poor dear! I like reading your articles.... you've caught my attention. You have a funny way with words.
on Aug 24, 2004
Thank you for reading. I have gandered over to your articles... they are interesting. Why haven't you posted lately?
on Aug 24, 2004
I've tried waxing. Yeah, it hurts, but doing it yourself doesn't seem to get all the hair. Hey, I mean, why go through that pain and STILL have hair?

After pulling the strip off, I noticed I got a nice chunk of hair off w/ an additional layer of skin.


*Not* a pleasant way to exfoliate. Yeah, I've gotta stick with the razor. Though I've found that Nair, the cucumber melon stuff, works well for me too.

on Aug 24, 2004
You know I have tried Nair... but that left me w/ a nice chemical burn. You'd think I would have learned a lesson by now?
on Aug 24, 2004
Hey, if you get rid of the skin, the hair has a much harder time growing back....
on Aug 24, 2004
True... mmm? Yeah, but for now I have to suffer w/ my legs looking as if they have gone through some Indian ritual.
on Aug 24, 2004
Do what I did: move to Minnesota. Here you try to grow as much hair on your legs as possible to keep in body heat.
on Aug 24, 2004
... but then you might be hearing reports of a saschwatch (sp?).
on Aug 26, 2004

it could be worse.  i still cringe whenever im reminded of the time i was invited to assist in an umm extreme bikini wax. 

on Aug 26, 2004
("sasquatch")
on Aug 26, 2004
i was invited to assist in an umm extreme bikini wax


OK:

1. Invited?
2. Assist?
3. Extreme?

on Aug 26, 2004
Perhaps Brazilian? That is pretty extreme. Or maybe it was just the bikini... and a hedge trimmer was needed for assistance. Do you work in the Landscaping business kingbee?
on Aug 26, 2004

1. Invited?

well it almost goes without saying you gotta be invited...almost impossible to crash that kinda party


2. Assist?

that was the premise anyway.  as it turns out, i dont have the necessary focus. in hindsight (to make a truly awful pun), ill cop to being easily distracted.  it became all too umm painfully obvious that a good assistant maintains at least a modicum of concentration so as to notice before the wax totally solidifies.

Do you work in the Landscaping business kingbee?

interestingly enough the debacle to which im referring originated as a landscaping project

 

on Aug 26, 2004
Heh when i saw title I thought it was about the karate kid movie.